I'm sure that's true. As a gay guy who grew up showering among straight guys in school, there was a moment during puberty when it was a little overwhelming. Your hormones are in full throttle and I was a mobile trouser-tent half the time. But I managed to keep it, er, down in the showers. I was probably looking around much less than straight guys because I was scared of getting a woody. Of course there were some guys who turned me on. But the first thing gay guys learn is to overcome that, not to let that stuff come between being mature, adult or committed to the team or whatever. And most straight guys I know can deal with it very easily. It's the insecure ones who have a problem. And the problem is their insecurity, not anyone's orientation. (My emphasis)
He is completely wrong and totally callous when it comes to showering people with someone of a different sexual orientation.
I ask him, why men and women don’t shower together? Is it because people are scared there will be mass rapes? Certainly a high school or college could easily prevent rape. Forty people of different sexual orientations showering together would not be the ideal time for a rapist to strike. Is it because they are worried about sex? Again, people of the same sex could just as easily have sex in the shower. The reason it does not happen is because people of both sexes would be uncomfortable or as Andrew says some people are insecure. Fine, I will grant him that; I would be totally insecure to take a shower with women or gay men. Does that make me a homophobe or hetrophobe? In a previous post Andrew claimed that he played the lead role in the play Equus, ironically he was too insecure to bare it all. I’ll answer my own question. No I’m not a homophobe or hetrophobe because I am too insecure to shower with people of the opposite sexual orientation, men or women. I’m human. Andrew says it’s my problem, sure it’s my problem but let me hear him state his case for integrated showers. Let’s stop all of this sex discrimination and have both men and women shower together.
Andrew has addressed the issue from an emailer with the same concerns. I think the emailer states it best to say any pleasure derived from someones naked body with out consent is a violation. I agree.
Andrew says it would be wrong to vet school boys to discover sexuality. Perhaps, but what about admitted gay adults. I.E. a gay athlete, or a gay soldier (although this is not allowed as of now).
Insecurity is not homophobia. Keep it real Andrew.
2 comments:
Hi Roy
I think that the whole gay showering thing among professional athletes is being blown out of proportion. I don't think anyone is going to have to worry about dropping the soap or having a gay teammate working up a lather in the locker room.
That being said, I think you make a good point about peoples insecurity vs homophobia. For some guys like Tim Hardaway, homophobia and bigotry may be the issue. But I suspect that for most people, it is insecurity.
Your point about mixed gender showers is also a good one. I would tend to think that almost all women would be uncomfortable showering with hetro guys. I think there would be a real fear about rape. Not necessarily in the shower itself, but some psychopath would get arounsed and follow a woman to her car or home and attack when he saw an opportunity to do so.
For me personally, I would not have a problem showering in a common facility with another gay person that I knew and respected. But showering in a public facility with gay strangers would be another matter.
I lived in San Fran for three years (1999-2001). I used to go up to the YMCA near the embarcadro. I also used to take yoga classes at Funky Door down on Polk Street. I knew there were gay people at both facilties and I refused to shower there unless many other people present or there were individual showers with curtains. I also made sure to dress quickly - even before I was completely dry. It had nothing to do with homophobia for me. I just don't feel comfortable with some dude scouting out my junk and having cupid strike him. I would feel equally awkward showering with women.
Well written article.
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